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Frightly Nightly News SNL style

Nightly News

 

Rumor has it that someone was tap…tap….tap… tap… dancing….. at the trump tower and reliable sources who were not authorized to speak with the media, and who spoke on condition of anonymity, said that surveillance tapes captured a clip of ex-president Obama tap dancing in the lobby of Trump Towers.

However, un intelligence agencies were unable to confirm or deny this report. One spokesperson, however, stated that, “ man, that POTUS, I mean EX-POTUS, has rhythm”, following with, “no ethnic stereotype was intended”.

Also, someone heard…tap…tap…tap….tap…on one of the windows of a Trump office …and after first thinking someone was tapping the offices, realized it was just a pidgeon, sitting on a stool….next to a window, where it was listening in.

Rumors that President Trump had some wild and twisted sexual escapades in a Trump owned Russian hotel just can’t seem to be ….condomed…I mean condoned….. I mean condemned...I mean confirmed..... by sources verrry close to the high priced call girls allegedly involved.

Seems that they were threatened with "urination wet board torture" if they spoke out about the urinating and diaper fetish of President Trump.

Seems as if the call girls also possessed advanced talents in……. hacking skills, hacking Trump’s lap….top….while he was otherwise……engaged.

The North Dakota pipeline has been housing 1400 illegal aliens from various distant planets inside the pipeline. They planned on crawling from north Dakota into Canada, while engineers were preoccupied with protesters. The protesters did their best to distract and decoy, to give the aliens time to escape.

Planned parenthood was dealt a harsh blow when its federal funding was…uhhh… pulled out, uh.. so to speak.

Seems the government thinks that the withdrawal method is effective enough and they no longer believe that educating the vulnerable populations about safe sex has any value to society and is costing too much money, and causing a condom shortage in underdeveloped countries, who need it more than we do.

Roseanna, did you have something to say?

Yes......Cats returns….I still can’t figure out why everyone is having such a cow over somebody not returning the cats….I mean…..if he wants to keep his cats, let him keep his cats….there’s too many homeless cats as it is… I say….let him keep his cats.!.......

Thank you, Roseanna

And finally, after a call for suggestions as to what to name the Trump Towers so as not to use the name Trump, one of the finalists being considered ………is the Sump Pump Towers…. As it seems to aptly describe most of the effluence emanating from the structure.

And that’s a rap…. Or in this case ….an Al Jarreau…..scat….. does anyone wanna go waltzin’ in the garden…does anyone wanna go dance up on the roof……..shooby doop doo doo....she bop de boop….partay……..partay..

Susan J, Deborah like this post.
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You are hysterical Neal. I am so sorry for your loss. You are processing through this loss, and your posts are, helpful to others as well as yourself.
I hope you can find a way to go more public with these lovely and funny and tragic posts.
In my group they don't want political. I understand that. It's a very complex and demeaning cancer.
But, reading your posts, just cracked me up, and since I share similar views, love to hear it.
I call my sister sometimes, Annabandana. Also, a friends of mine, I call Roxannabandana. It always brings back memories of Gilda.
Keep posting!
Hugs to you! Jean
i write to hear you say it cracks you up...truly...only my last two posts have really been satirically funny...i feel like I am moving from serious ....and that is a good thing...did I say thank you yet? I can't see what I am typing here....so happy you got what i was writing and you remember Gilda...she too succumbed to cancer...anyway...i realize some may not like the political..but SOVIET....some may need a little break from the cancer shit that they are all going thru...and a laugh is a gift.... better than chemo...so I hope more people get a lift from it...Jeanabandana...hugs to you too...by the way...who was being political...me???? lol....I like you....
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Vital Info

Posts

February 10, 2017

New Haven, CT, usa 06473

In Memory of a Loved One

Cancer Info

Pancreas Cancer

Stage 4

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