Poem - Love, Loss, Carry On

This all started with a nonsense word or two, and became a very dear poem to me, as it tells a story, or part of a story. I am not sure it is all clear, but there were different personalities that merged over time to one, but still there were always many voices inside her head that never were completely quiet and never gave her complete peace, until the end. But now she lifts me up when I get sad, because that's what angels do. Birthdays, hers and mine, still do this to me, cause me to get leaky. But then, I have to give her something to do, which she gladly does. I don't know if anyone has written a book yet called Living Grief. I see books called Living with Grief, but none called Living Grief. I like the title. It has multiple meanings. It means living with grief, living it and implying that you are still alive while you are grieving although you don't feel like you are, and it means that grief is a living thing that morphs over time. Anyway, enough of a preface. It is a little long as far as lines go, but it reads quickly.

 

Love, Loss, Carry On

 

flighting bites

silly sounds do delight

frightful flights

someone please dim the lights

bug splattered windshield and too much glare

straining to see what was really there

distorted

synaptic

configurations

convoluted emotions swirl

I saw her as a young girl

Tortured, pulled, torn, abused

a rag doll

stretched on a rack

her limits tested and still some parts survived

her childhood stolen she'll never get back

at least we had joy with willful Babe her playful child

even though at times she was untamed and wild

her memories that stained a slate once pristine

can't erase, won't scrub out not even with Mr. Clean

put Humpty Dumpty

together again

but never quite exactly the same

her many parts came unglued,

split apart

and for a while chaos ensued

but Dr. Psychology helped her construe

as close as possible a structure which would do.

put back together, a consequence, depression shadowed the days

since her children no longer had separate ways

they were used to having more space

now crowded, all of them into one place

one face

one voice,

that had been so many

ohhh how my heart aches and burns to hear but one

but no, Spirit's work is long been done

and I left bereft her warmth to enfold

myself to comfort and to hold

to hear her laugh, and to touch her smile

now in my heart mile after mile

her Spirit tugs and lifts

works to upturn the corners of my lips

as melancholy sweeps my veins

she counters with tooth and nail her wings a flutter

they beat,

whoosh and hammer love,

and I mortal cannot resist

the magic she does, my spirits to lift,

swell all the love inside to give

6 people like this post.
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
Beautiful Neal!
Thank you Kim
love it!
Thanks Jill
Thank you for sharing this Neal. It’s beautiful and speaks to a lifelong journey of knowing and loving.
That's sweet. Thank you Lisa
Well done, Uncle. It reminds Nan that our departed loved ones are still with us, one way or another, bringing hope, comfort, love, remembrance. Love doesn't die, connections don't break. Sometimes that is hard to remember, but as time goes by it does become clearer. We are, after all, children of the Universe. Hugs :*)
Thanks, Neal. Just saw this. Beautiful sentiments.
Sign in or sign up to post a comment.
avatar

Vital Info

Posts

February 10, 2017

North Haven, Connecticut 06473

Cancer Info

Pancreas Cancer

Stage 4

Stats

Posts: 140
Photos: 5
Events: 0
Supporters: 53
Friends: 79
Comments:
-Made: 0
-Received: 728
Views:
-Posts: 44727
-Photos: 3117

New Here?

We are a community of cancer survivors supporting each other. Sign up to comment or create your own cancer blog. Already a member? Sign in